shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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