she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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