Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
