I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
