saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
