at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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