I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
we're so committed to being not committed
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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