Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
