He is an equal opportunity slut.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
