If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
