I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
