weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
