Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
