Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
