Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
