I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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