? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
