do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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