bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
