It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
