He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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