My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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