I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
