he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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