what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
