i think i have herpe
just one?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
