I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
