The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
