My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
