Can i not drive my cunt home
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
