would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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