nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize