Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
