can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
