Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
