Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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