beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
