The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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