Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
