Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Every concussion has its silver lining
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
