I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
