i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
