some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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