she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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