Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
