1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
