Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
