That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
