I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
