I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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